Wrestling fans used to be able to look at icons of the industry like on-screen brothers The Undertaker and Kane, and take solace knowing their real lives are not as bizarre or convoluted as their in-story WWE histories.
But now we know things aren’t that simple.
Kane, whose driver’s licence says his name is “Glenn Jacobs,” was elected mayor of Knox County, Tenn., making him the first ever pyrokenetic zombie to hold office in the United States. Kane might have dressed and behaved like a literal monster throughout his wrestling career, but nothing that has or could ever take place on WWE TV is more horrifying than U.S. politics in 2018.
In fact, the more information becomes available, the more it appears that Kane is much more fucked up and depraved than his older, more famous half-brother. Not only has The Undertaker expressed no interest in a political career that we know of, he didn’t even want to touch a severed head when the opportunity to do so presented itself.
Recently, tattoo artist to the stars Paul Booth shared the following tale that took place at an early ’90s tattoo convention where he had taken a gig inking up the multi-time world champion.
“I was working on The Undertaker, the wrestler…in my room so no one would bother him,” said Booth, as you can see in the video above. “My manager came up from the convention floor saying there were some metalhead kids here dying to meet me and they had this special gift….
“…They brought them upstairs to the room and they said, ‘Yeah we got a head for you.’ I’m like, ‘A head?’ They were like, ‘Yeah we were partying in a cemetery the other night after it rained and there was a mudslide and we found a head in the mud and we thought you should have it.’
“I said, ‘Oh cool, let’s go get it’ — it’s in the trunk of the car. The Undertaker was kind of freaked out by the whole thing so he didn’t come along.”
Booth may not realize what he’s done, but he’s effectively ruined The Undertaker’s ability to have a successful comeback if he ever decides to return from retirement. If someone like The Miz or Chris Jericho need a way to distract and defeat the erstwhile Ministry of Darkness leader, all they need to do is toss a severed head in his general direction, and the match will be as good as over.