Year-end lists should tell us something about the the 12 months that proceeded. In the instance of Rolling Stone’s bottom 10 films of 2017, critic Peter Travers shows us that this was actually a pretty sweet year for movies.
With the arguable exceptions of George Clooney’s Suburbicon, Song to Song featuring Ryan Gosling and Natalie Portman, and maybe Stephen King adaptation The Dark Tower, nobody would’ve expected any of these movies not to suck.
This annual gathering includes serial failures like the Transformers, Mummy, and 50 Shades franchises, plus an unnecessary sequel to a deliberately inconsequential family comedy. Moviegoers don’t buy a ticket to anything with Michael Bay’s name on it without assuming it’s going to insult their intelligence. Daddy’s Home 2 appeals to the same segment of the population who hate themselves enough to sit through Grown Ups. These people definitely don’t sign up to be entertained or enlightened. They strive only to broaden their individual understanding of suffering; to gaze deeply into the abyss, and as it gazes back, strain their eyelids in a Sisyphean effort against blinking. But they blink, gentle reader. They always blink.
It was a pretty rough year for a lot of people. But at least the movies that were supposed to be good were generally pretty great, and the movies that were supposed to make us want to gouge our eyes out and shove pencils in our own earholes and die were predictably fuckin’ miserable.
10. The Emoji Movie
8. Daddy’s Home 2
7. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
6. The Mountain Between Us
5. The Mummy
4. Song to Song
3. Fifty Shades Darker
2. The Dark Tower
1. Transformers: The Last Knight