Hoooboy. Star Wars and its “fans.” Well, here we go…
This week, a Twitter account and website appeared claiming that a “team of producers” wrangled up the hundreds of millions of dollars needed to make a new version of The Last Jedi. This campaign — while adopting a benign tone — comes at the widely-publicized behest of socially inept and sexually frustrated young men who’ve decided they should let Reddit and YouTube Nazis define reality for them and never, ever go outside. Also, they say they care about Star Wars.
Tellingly, this “team of producers” remains anonymous, as does the individual running the “Remake The Last Jedi” online presence. And while the budget for the project is supposedly “covered,” aggrieved nerds can still pledge a few bucks to “make their voices heard.” Pledgers, the site says, will be compensated with Kickstarter-style rewards like their name in the credits ($5,000) an invite to the premiere ($10,000) and a “personalized force FX light saber” ($500).
Now, is there a plausible scenario in which Disney is going to lend Star Wars and all its associated intellectual property rights over to some rando on the internet, regardless of how much money he says he has? Furthermore, is it likely that this same unnamed individual — with no stated film credits or experience or education in the field of any sort — can make a Star Wars movie that isn’t, best case scenario, hilarious in the Ed Wood can’t-look-away-from-the-flaming wreckage sort of way? Also, WTF is a “personalized force FX light saber?”
The correct answers, in order, are “No,” “Also no,” and, “It doesn’t matter, ‘cos they more than probably don’t exist.”
Our team of producers is offering to cover the budget for a remake of The Last Jedi in order to save Star Wars. Share this and spread the word to let @RobertIger & @Disney know you want this! This isn't a joke, we're ready to have the convo now! #RemakeTheLastJedi #StarWars
— Remake The Last Jedi (@RMTheLastJedi) June 20, 2018
As of this writing, the “Remake…” site says it has raised upwards of $85 million. Personally, I take that number with several grains of salt. But if so much as one trusting little kid who wishes Luke was more of a badass in Last Jedi really did pledge his $10 weekly allowance, Disney should sue the guy behind this campaign so hard that he spends the rest of his days working as Rian Johnson’s personal servant in charge of licking the lint and grime out from under his toenails.