Rat Eats $18,000 In Cash, Dies A Hero | Midnight Pulp
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Rat Eats $18,000 In Cash, Dies A Hero

Thompson June 25, 2018 June 25th, 2018

As far as universally-experienced dreams go, it’s right up there with falling forever and realizing you forgot to wear pants or underwear to your 10:30 a.m. Algebra 101 class.

You know the one I’m talking about; The dream when you realize instead of a traditional food dinner, this evening, you’ll eat a gigantic pile of cash money.  For a time, it seems as though there are simply too many bucks to safely consume, and your stomach swells to a horrifying, Cronenberg-ish degree. But before you know it, a happy skeleton in a prom dress appears and screams, “Congratulations! You’ve eaten exactly $18,000!!! Now, awake with the secret of love ingrained forever into your memory hole!”

Everybody forgets the secret of love when they wake up, but no one ever forgets the joy of eating all that precious money. We’ll probably never know if small rodents experience the same sleep phenomenon as humans, but a small rat in India recently lived that very same rapture that most of will only ever know in our sleep state.

Reuters reports that when an ATM in India mysteriously went out of order, bank investigators discovered a small rat had gained entry to the kiosk, sustained himself on paper money for days, and apparently died somewhere in the process of using shredded notes to build a nest.

Reps from State Bank of India — with 50,000 ATMs, making it the most ubiquitous bank in the nation — tell Reuters that they haven’t the foggiest idea how this happened without alerting the closed-circuit security cameras installed in all of their cash machines. Nevertheless, SBI says they’ll figure out WTF happened to ensure rats don’t eat any more of their currency.

Let’s face it — this rat ate more money than just about anybody reading this makes in four months. I don’t know about you, but in my book, that makes this rat a hero whose legend shall live on throughout the eons.

via Reuters

Top photo is not the hero rat. It’s a stock photo of a different rat. But you already figured that out…right?