Pushing 30 years in the making, long after the originals started to feel dated, well after the titular duo have been replaced by multiple generations of chuckleheaded dude pairings in low- to medium-brow comedies, there’s finally gonna be another friggin’ Bill and Ted movie.
It’s official and confirmed, as opposed to a project with a bunch of cast and crew attached. According to The Hollywood Reporter, MGM’s bought the rights, and they’ve been shopping Bill and Ted Face The Music around at Cannes all week. They may even have a deal locked in by the time you’re reading this.
Stars Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter are confirmed, as is the script by the same writing team behind Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey. They’ve also locked down director Dean Parisot of Galaxy Quest acclaim.
“We couldn’t be more excited to get the whole band back together again,” say Reeves and Winter in a statement. “Chris [Matheson] and Ed [Solomon] wrote an amazing script, and with Dean at the helm, we’ve got a dream team!”
Now that we know we’re pretty likely to see Bill and Ted Face The Music sometime in 2019, the question becomes, “Yeah, but will it be any good?” Frankly, I think a good rule of thumb for situations like this is to set our expectations low. Rock bottom, even. Let’s just assume it’s gonna suck major donkey balls.
“Why?” you ask? Because a sci-fi comedy about two fiftysomethings — who happen to be icons of the millennial generation’s collective childhoods, let’s not forget — coping with a doozy of a midlife crisis while hopping across space and time sounds amaaaazing. But especially after we’ve spent so much time waiting for this thing, if we go in expecting the Literal Best Movie Ever and the actualized product is less than that, we’ll all be disappointed.
However if we anticipate an unnecessary nostalgia circle jerk and the film turns out to be much better than such a thing, then it’ll be a stupendous surprise and a joyful occasion for all.
So, to get us rolling, I’m going to start talking about this movie as if we all know it’s going to be terrible right now. I mean, hooboy, what were these guys thinking doing a third Bill and Ted movie, huh? That’s a big waste of time and money. I mean, I’ll see it, don’t get me wrong, but just to see how bad it is.