Sometimes when a celebrity gets outed as a despicable human being in their non-public lives, it’s fashionable to react with a self-congratulatory declaration like “I knew it! I never liked ‘so-and-so!'” But last year, it wasn’t fashionable so much as honest to say you always had a bad feeling about Harvey Weinstein, ‘cos just about everybody who met that dude suspected that he was a terrible asshole.
We don’t mean to be glib about the whole deal; Weinstein was/is a monster on a hitherto inconceivable level, and deserves much worse than he’s probably going to get. But before everyone knew about his rape pyramid scheme, plenty of Weinstein’s colleagues observed his generally douchebag-ish behavior and adopted the appropriate posture. Among those — Son Of Anarchy and The Original Hellboy, Ron Perlman. The cult favorite actor’s a highly active tweeter, and on Monday, AV Club observed him tossing off the following anecdote amid some half-related criticisms of a reality show host who’s making a jackass of himself at his current job in Washington D.C.
Did I ever tell ya about when Harvey Weinstein told me to make sure I shook his hand at a charity event, so I stopped in the mens room and pissed all over my hand, then went straight up to him on the receiving line? I think about that every time lil donnie opens up his KFC.
— Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 25, 2018
Perlman doesn’t timestamp this story, but since Weinstein was obviously still getting invited to charity events at the time, we can guess it occurred before “the allegations” hit the proverbial fan. But regardless, it’s a good example of how peeing on things is a wildly-underrated method of extracting clandestine retribution, particularly for those of us employed in the food service industry.
But pissing on stuff for revenge isn’t exclusively for restaurant workers! For instance, have you ever been to a party where the hosts were less-than polite to you or another guest? Did it occur to you to sneak into their shower area and pee in all of their shampoo bottles? If it did, those hosts will think twice next time they think about embarrassing you at a social event. Has your landlord been giving you grief recently? If so, just pee on your rent check before you fork it over at the end of this month, and Paul will see exactly what happens when he tells you storing your Vespa under the stairs is a fire hazard and you’ve gotta move it immediately or be fined.
Paul might be collecting rent, but this time, he’s the one who’ll pay the price.