Ever since the first season of Rick and Morty wrapped all the way back in 2014, diehard fans have complained like crazy about the comparatively lengthy periods they’ve had to wait for new episodes.
And it’s true. Creators Dan Harmon, Justin Roiland, and their associates definitely aren’t winning the award for “Most Prolific Cartoon-Writing Team Ever.” Season One ended in April of 2014, and Season Two started in July of 2015. The downtime between Season Two and Season Three was even longer. Season Two’s finale, “The Wedding Squanchers,” aired in early October of 2015, and the Season Three premiere, “The Rickshank Rickdemption,” didn’t appear until April of 2017. Worse yet, the second episode of Season Three didn’t emerge until July of 2017, forcing fans to hold out for an additional few months after getting that sweet little taste.
So if you’re one of those fans who screamed at the internet in a fit of righteous indignation whenever you hadn’t seen a new episode of Rick and Morty for six months or more, you should know two things. First and foremost, fuck you. I’m sorry you’ve been raised in this instant gratification-obsessed culture and you earnestly believe your civil rights are being violated if you can’t hit a button on your smartphone that summons the cast of Riverdale to your house to suck your dick, but there’s this thing called “the creative process” and it means people who make worthwhile art — which is a difficult undertaking in any medium, btw — need a sometimes substantial degree of time to conceive and execute their ideas. If you’re getting impatient for new episodes of a TV show, here are some fun ways to fill the time: Talk To Other People In Real Life, Update Your Resume, Hit The Gym, Watch Something Else, Make Your Own Show/Music/Movie/Art/Whatever, Try DMT, Adopt A Kitten, Learn To Make Tacos For Dinner, Call Your Grandma. Just, for fuck’s sake, stop whining and moaning about entertainment you entitled, worthless manbaby pimple on the taint of humankind.
The other thing you should know is thanks to the 70-episode contract Harmon and Roiland just signed with Tuner Broadcasting, those between-season dry spells that’ve caused you so much strife will soon fade away in the darkest recesses of our collective memories! Joy!
“We want the episodes to stay good, but we do also want to try to turn them around a little quicker now that we have this big order,” Roiland says in an interview with Polygon. “I think it gives us the ability to be faster. We’re not going to do these long breaks, these chasms in between seasons anymore. We’re going to schedule vacation time and just keep the machine going. It’s going to be really cool.”
I swear t’gawd, in two years, if I’m seeing a bunch of headlines about how Rick and Morty fans are enraged about something-or-other and blaming tighter deadlines for a perceived decrease in quality, I’m gonna track down as many crybaby Rick and Morty nerds as I can, sneak into their homes, and replace their shampoo with my own pee pee while they’re sleeping.