Never underestimate the lengths some will go when they can’t find any mushrooms or LSD and they don’t have anything else going on during a particular weekend.
Vice reports that numerous Sonoran Desert toads were kidnapped from their home on the Spur Ranch Conservation Area this weekend. This particular species of toad oozes a light poison from the skin on their backs which can be fatal to natural predators like dogs and raccoons, but supposedly produces a hallucinogenic euphoria in humans. (We should emphasize that licking Sonoran toads is also said to have all kinds of horrible side effects, so, y’know, we encourage doing plenty of research before making the decision that licking a toad is right for you.)
Although it’s usually difficult for authorities to capture toad-nappers, this time local law enforcement has a better-than-average idea who they’re looking for. The amphibian thieves — it appears, deliberately — got themselves caught on the security camera. The footage released to the media includes one suspect’s face, three suspects’ voices, and one suspect making a gesture apparently intended to mimic fapping off.
Natural resource theft in the Spur Cross Ranch Conservation Area – July 19, 2018 at 9:58 pm.NOTE: Please note that these are RAW, UNEDITED videos. Some of the language and content may not be appropriate for certain audiences. Second video in comments.Once again, we need your help! On Friday, July 19 between 9 pm and 12:30 am, the individuals in these videos were spotted removing natural resources (Sonoran Desert Toads) from the Spur Cross Conservation Area. Not only were they in the conservation area after hours, they have also violated Park Rule R-109.R-109 VANDALISM1. Destroying, damaging, or removing any tree, shrub, wildflower, cactus, or any other vegetation, or any other vegetative product or by-products without first obtaining a written permit from the Department.2. Destroying, damaging, defacing or removing any County property or property administered by the Department.These clips, along with several others, have been turned over to the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office (MCSO), and an investigation is underway. If you recognize these individuals, please contact the Operation Game Thief Hotline at 1 (800) 352-0700 or MCSO at (602) 876-1000.Thank you!
Posted by Spur Cross Ranch Conservation Area on Monday, July 23, 2018
Now, speaking for myself, I can say I fully support anything a person has to do to get insanely fucked up and have a two-hour conversation with a Pink Floyd poster, as long as it doesn’t entail harming anyone or, in this case, any innocent creatures. Want to find out what’s the hubbub with these toads that supposedly make you trip? Pick one up, give it a lick, and put it back down to go about its happy desert toad business.
Rounding up a bunch of toads in a sack, as we see the suspects doing in the above security video, just seems cruel and unnecessary. Especially considering they could probably all get a better trip off smoking DMT out of a light bulb over a stove top — or so I’ve been told by a friend — without hurting any toads at all.